A series of Whackass Dave x reader fics I made 'cause I have a severe mental tumour and it's eggplant shaped

In a nutshell it's about the reader having a somewhat on off relationship with Dave whilst attempting to get him back together after Henry's death (I also flip flop a LOT on saying Y/N as well).

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Rescuing a Wet Cat

In the ever immortal words of the Candy Queen, "No requests, I only do originals!"

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Rain lashed at the windows, the cheap florescent strips above twitching with the storm. Most of the abandoned garbage outside slamming against the windows to get in. “So…you got a ride?”, “nah”, “Godspeed my man”. There was a slight snap in how hard their bosses number dial turned to them. “I’m sorry employee,Godspeed, to your boss?”, “sub boss, I mean for fucks sake we’re ‘bout five minutes from joining Dorothy in Oz!”.

He looked away, “uh-huh, bus then?”, “probably…”. They began mentally preparing as the bulbs above went out. “So who’s doin’ the night shift?”, “I 'unno, sucks for them though”. The two began making their way down the street, “see ya”, “night”. They hunkered under the meager shelter above.

’He wasn’t in today’. They ignored it to the best of their abilities as they rummaged around in their bag for spare change, but it had been something they kept thinking about. Granted, the less annoyances and 'totally not hanging with me and my psycho dad-boss’ missing kids was a blessing for a day, until it dragged into a week. Was he ok? It felt corny to go to his place and check, but after Henry’s death the paranoia of his un-ending glare at them whenever they dared linger around the driveway eased down somewhat.'Ghost’s probably gonna fuckin’ start tho'.

“Sorry love, the bank gave this place up to us after the owner’s kid stop paying”. Que? So…wait. They mimicked the same wall eyed processing stare they used to do to annoy Henry as they processed the information. The light from the doorway sliding shut,’so…he’s…homeless?’. They looked around slightly, the rain had let off enough so they weren’t slip skating around the sidewalk, but it still urked their hand into clasping against their coat hood. “So then where…”.

They skulked around the property slightly. Nothing outstanding aside from the old reeking odor of iron now being washed out by the storm.

They continued checking every corner of the street until they stopped by a convenience store, the dumpster… Sure enough, they hesitantly opened it to reveal a familiar long necked eggplant. What little items he had gotten from Henry were clutched to his chest as he struggled to cover himself with newspaper. “Jesus christ…”, they muttered slightly as they opened the lid fully. Most of the rain had already began shifting him in his sleep but after a few shoves he sprung up weilding a photo he had been clutching.

“Yo”, “the hell do ya want!”, “I mean…”. They stood there for a bit. “Oh this? nah it ain’t nothing! Jus’ ya know, tryna-”, “you’re sleeping as close as possible to Henry’s so you feel like you’re still in his place whilst also not gettin’ caught by the bank, homeowners or police”. “No I’m not…”.

They sighed, offering a hand out. “C'mon”, “No! I’m doin’ great here”, “you’re sleeping under a literally paper thin copy of Foxy’s Bikini ed Bottoms”, “I jus’ found it ya know?”. They stood there. The rain continued mounting weight against Dave’s meager form. Without adding another argument they began wandering to the store, “The hell ya goin’?!”.

This was eventually answered with an agitated “WHAT!”. The door of the store busted open to reveal the shop owner wielding a bat. “Oh shit ohshit-”, he scrambled out, chin almost smacking the asphalt. Grabbing as much as possible whilst abandoning his temporary night girl. His form eventually disappeared into the rain leaving the owner to return to his store and Y/N to examine what was left.

It was a photo of him, one of the only ones they had ever seen with the two of them involved, double laminated and all. They grabbed some of the other items he had left, ’Jesus, he’s got a ring of knives-’, and followed suit. Fortunately, he had always sucked at running long distance so they tackled him quite easily. “GYAH! Seriously Sport!”, “got yer pics”, “the hell did ya do that for though, I had a good thing goin’ with that place, no rent, free food, free girl”, “ton of paper cuts though”.“You’d be surprised”. They grimmaced at that notion slightly, “so ya wanna stay at mine then?”, “…fine”.

Despite relaxing on their sofa, after a slightly awkward audience on the bus and him getting even more drenched, he looked tense. “You want somethin’?”, “nah I’m good”. A slight gargle ratted him out, “a'ight fine!I ain’t had nothin’ since the funeral!”. They stared at him with that familiar look of concern, “at least not a proper food”. “So my supper then?”, they raised a plastic container from the fridge as a sacrifice. “It good?”, “eh, somethin’ I’d like”, “I don’t wan’ it”.

After the mystery dish was plated up they stared it. "I definitely don't wan' it", "so...what cereal? don't gotta lot", "I'll just stick with the oxygen in this place". They looked around slightly. The place wasn't even that big to begin with, the bedroom was essentially the main room aside from the kitchen and bucket the landlord insisted was the 'toilet'. They'd tried to hide it with plants and random knickknacks but it just drove home how depressing the space was.

"Y'sure you don'-", "really I'm good, no way to tell I won't just be sick so...", "I mean it's nearly the weekend so ya can risk bein' a lil bit-". "I insist. "The wording took them aback slightly, "so just booze then?", "hell yeah!". "So...how come ya weren't in then?", "ya kiddin', workin' next to Spring Freddie?!". After an awkward change, they had flopped against Dave on the sofa. Legs slumped over the battered arms, "I didn't see ya there though", "I don't mean to offend but that guy PISSED me off! t's always fuggin'...vibes 'n shit with that guy". "Eh, just protective of the place", "it was one Goddamn firework!".

It had been way too long since they had heard Dave's morbid laugh. They flinched slightly but relaxed once he put an arm around their shoulder. "Godamnit I forgot how fuckin' funny ya were Sportsy!". "y'ain't mad?", "eh, I mean....". His upbeat facade faultered slightly as he thought about something.

"what up?", "...nothin' just thinking about how pissed he'd be right now", "what he hate me?", "eh, I mean he hated pretty much anyone who wasn't a help". He looked away, "nah, he just didn't like you that's all". He turned back, jabbing an elbow into Y/N's shoulder. "I'm more surprised I can see fun you!", "what I ain't fun sober?!", "nah the booze just makes ya get more vocal".

The sink drained as they stepped out the bathroom. Just as expected he was already lounging on the bed, "I feel like this'd be a better reason", "what?", "...nothin'". They nudged him over, draping the heated blanket over them. "Wanna swap?", "nah, 'll fall outta bed". He pressed up against their chest slightly, grinding his spine against their ribs, "...f'ne". They draped their arms around him, squeezing his chest as hard as they could. On command, their legs began tangling around his slightly. He instantly melted, the weight of his body dropping against them slightly. To complete he managed to move his neck, twisting it to them. "Not t'night...". He completely ignored the plea and planted his extensive neck against their chest.

"aww yeah...Sportsy pillow". He slurred his words slightly, the exhaust of the week finally taking it's toll. They sighed, petting his slightly squishy head.

They didn't really care if he smelt like shit and was, essentialy, a stray. He was their's, and that's all that mattered.

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Attempting to Feed a Sick Cat

A familiar groggy feeling started pounding against their skull as they raised their head. They were splayed out against the thinly covered springs, the bed rocked slightly as they started to get up. They were stuck...

They tried to sit up, a distinct weight pinnined their chest down. They looked down, he was snuggled against their chest, his cheek caressing their ribs. His hands were throughly interlocked with their own, legs tangled like before, one clearly edging closer and closer their inner thigh. "mmmmmhm~". His hands dipped down from their fingers to their back, icy finger tips stroking their spine.

They sucked in a slight groan and moved their free hand to his head. In a single swift chop Dave's head sprung up, "wuzzat?!". He looked up from their chest, eyes hazy. "Sportsyyy, wuzzup?", "yer fondling me", "yeahhhh". His head flopped down.

They grimmaced. Prying his arms off their back, they continued to dematt his legs until they could sit up. On command, he curled up, the heated blanket retrived and resting over him as they began cooking. It wasn't until the smell of coffee made him fully stir, "mornin' Sportsy~". They ignored his sneaking arms around their waist as they proceeded, "mmm", "I think ya were grinding against me", "if I was I'd notice".

Much like normal, breakfast contsisted of bare minimum cereal and instant coffee. They began eating, 'gotta find a better job...'. "...Y'know I didn't bring y'over to feed you", "wuzzat?". His eyes shifted from the bowl to theirs, "...look man I don't wanna-", "Sportsy, I'm fine!", "if y'say so". They had to, they knew. A few hours was ok and a whole day with a snack was understandable (from their warped mind at least). But they refused to let him go on.

They stopped. "Any reasons you don't wanna?", "nah jus' don't feel it", "y'know, after a certain period of time the human body stops relyings on exeternal food and starts using interior energy previously stored...". They stood up, moving around to tower over him. "David...I understand you don't feel as if you deserve this, but trust me you're wrong". He went silent, his stare completely on the bowl. "Please, I'll back off if you just do this for me".

Some part of them wanted to snap, force his mouth open and shove as much in until it jumped his system again. They sighed, shakily expelling that idea. "You want me to sit by?", "...yeah". They dragged their chair next to him as the spoon shivered to his mouth, it faultered. Their hand grabbed his wrist slightly, the tension weakened. They looked up at him... there was no frustration in their eyes.

He finally brought the spoon to his mouth, slowly, so slowly, he began eating.

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Entertaining a Kitten

The sweltering heat fogged their vision as they trudged onwards. What little of the sidewalk they could make out was intentionally blocked by their beaten up, Spring Freddie baseball cap.

They stopped for a moment, lungs heaving, sweat darkening their workshirt in certain spots. "Fuck...". They had been aimlessly wandering around the culdesac for almost an hour. Their already strained heart tearing through the 5 stages of grief with every new location. Their only beacon being a vague address and the shallow hope from their new boss that they'd "figure it out".

Bullshit. Finally, a heavenly distorted New yorker accent rang out a few feet away. The blazing sun casting a shadow over their towering form. His claw like hands almost crushing their ribs as he lurched foreward, they tensed slightly. "S-sorry bud, couldn't find th' ya", "I asked Henry t' write it for you though!".

They sucked in a breath and shakily laughed it off. "Misread it slightly". They felt their feet slowly touch the ground, one clawed hand slowly pulling them along as they felt the sun finally gaving up, sinking in the distance.

"I'm home!", the house creaked slightly in response. He kicked his shoes off as he happily sauntered in. The inside of the house was a lot...different to how they imagined it. Series of Henry related phorographs lined the walls alongside other various carnival shots. Only one stuck out to them, stopping slightly to fully stare.

A simple blown up framed family portrait hanging in the centre of the living room. Henry looking as well clean and disinterested as ever, Dave though...his baggy second hand sweater could barely cover his somewhat brittle frame, his lanky neck streching out in excitment as he leant in as hard as he could into Henry.

He looked genuinely happy, his beaming grin over casting Henry's indifference. A distant calling of "hey Y/N", pulled them out of their trance as they turned around to see Dave in the kicthen. "Photogenic lil scamp ain't I?", "mmm". A can was slid their way. "Nah, I'm good", "more for me then".

In a single swig, he chugged half the can. They smiled slightly, stretching their arms over the island counter, a slight stench caught their attention, 'iron?'. They shrugged it off somewhat as Dave brought up a loaded offer, "wanna see my room?".

His bedroom was exactly what they expected though. Most of his clothing was strewn across the floor, if it wasn't already clean clothes it was the various animatronic bits he inisted on bringing home to work on. They awkwardly waltzed to his deserted bed as he joined them. "Well, impressed?", "it's, uhh...not, it's you".

He seemed pleased with the slightly awkward response, nuzzling his back against theirs. "So...you got any favourite animatronic parts?","nah, I just like to mess with stuff Henry left around". They gave an acknowledging grunt. "You got any tapes?", "nah, got banned from the rental store". They turned back slightly. "How??", "...brought back the wrong tape 'n traumatised a kid".

The conversation steered into a multitude of different things, shit talking the new co boss Steve, debating on which prize counter toy was more of a weapon...They did raise an eyebrow at the amount of Foxy quips Dave kept throwing around. Moonlight from above casting a haunting spot light over their banter. A distant jingling finally snapped Dave out of his fifth round of cowboy blather. Frantically skeddadiling off the bed and zipping to the source.

"Dave, I'm home", "heya Henry!". They almost broke a casette tape below as they crept around to watch them. "I heard you talking-", "oh ya, invited Y/N over!". There was a clear weight sinking in as Henry's gaze followed up to them. darting their eyes from those piercing ones.

"I was just about to take my leave sir!". They began to make their way past Henry to the front door. A sharp tug, they looked down to see his purple claw like digits wrapped around their arm. "Aw c'mon! I wanna tell ya more 'bout that bull russlin' thing I was watchin'!", "sorry Dave, I mean hey ya got a phone right? I wanna try callin' ya this week!".

His gaze never left them as they took their leave, Dave still pathetically clinging to their arm slightly. "See you tomorrow sir". A simple nod was all they recived as Dave dipped into leading them outside. "Sorry 'bout this", "nah it's cool, gettin' dark". They looked around, the neighbourhood looked somewhat different to when they had first stepped out. The houses taking on a warm glow, brief silhouttes of inhabitants moving around sparatically.

"See ya tomorrow then", "see ya". They turned their head briefly as the began the trek back home. The dining room light in Dave's house flickering on, brief occasional twitches.

The entire walk home was briefly interluded with them grabbing enough supplies for supper. '...should probably invite him over some time'.

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"What's up with him?". They ignored the new guy briefly until they acknowledged his thumb jab, it wasn't obvious at first but Scott was fixated on a slight scarring on Dave's chest, they only fully noticed when he stretched hard enough. It looked rough, almost homemade as some string poked from under the shirt. Trailing just out of reach from various annoying prying hands.

"Surgery probably", "...should I warn him about the string?", "I'll do it". They announced it in a way that caused Scott to recoil slightly. Moving past the sea of kids and over to Dave.

"S-sportsy! kinda busy right no-", "was gonna join ya on that...". His neck snapped around slightly to look down at them, his already tired face shifitng into slight panic. "But ain't ya on break?", "eh figured I'd join ya a bit". He verbally gulped, the pressuring nudges from them forcing him to continue to the cramped room.

The door creaked shut, a heavy reverberated clunk sealing their desicion. "Dave...can I, ask you to do somethin' real quick?". His response seemed half conscious as he continued getting ready. "ya sure! whad'ya want?", "sorry if this seems a bit rude but, have you had any surgery lately? 'cause, like, I think you had a shit do-".

The meer implication of where they were going caused Dave to physically lock up. Arms hunched over the back of the springlock suit's wind up, he whipped his head unceremoniously to Y/N. "yeah, had...stomach problems", "uh...huh". Their eyes trailed his shirt once again.

"I...I'm sorry if this seems a bit rude but can I-", "nope, no can do I'm good! Doc already said so!". He continued moving more hastily over the suits mechanisms as he began awkwardly stuffing himself into the body. "I mean like, what if the string gets caught up in somethin'". He froze, back shifting around until he finally turned around to face them.

"Bold of ya to assume I can't handle a few springlocks!", "better safe than sorry?". In a sharp final turn, he shoved the head on with clubbed paws and made his exit. Their eyes remained fixed on him as he exited the stage. Scott's interest in the hanging thread was quickly disapated, as he went back to fending away rabid kids from Spring Freddie.

Finally, "The freddie and Springbonnie" survival round was done, Springbonnie taking his leave to the back with a slight limp. The instant he stepped away from the stage, a rogue kid lurched for him in a tackle hug. "Springbonnniiieee!", "g-glad to see ya-". He froze, shoved the kid off in a single swipe of his paw and frantically stumbled off stage.

"Dave?", "fuckin'-". Slight grunts greeted then as they opened the door. Blood trickled slightly from under the costume, his hands clutching at the darkening patch on his shirt. "...Sportsy!, c-caught me at a real bad time here!". They approached, door closing once again as they watched his slowly shifting expression.

"Stop". The firm tone froze him, pin pricked irises shaking behind the rigid mascot head. They, crept foreward until they got behind him. Reaching down for the handcrank and inserting it carefully into the port. "I want to breath slowly and stay still". Nothing, their eyebrows furrowed slightly, "Dave, I know you shouldn't move but can you at least nod for me?". A single nod. With that they continued cranking until they heard the click of the springlocks reaving their limit.

Shakily, the top half of the suit peeled off, slow twitches coming out of fear of triggering another spring. Finally, the rest of the suit came off. He stepped out of it slightly, a trail of blood seeping from his chest whilst the red thread tugged against one of the coils.

It trailed up his chest.